Glenn Beck’s OMGWTFBBQ and My Manifesto

Daily Kos: State of the Nation diarist Hunter spent the day posting updates about yesterday’s wingnut festivities.

[Throughout the day we have been bringing you breaking coverage of today’s ‘We Surround Them’ event, newsperson Glenn Beck’s effort to demonstrate the power of the ultraconservative movement via… um… well, we’re not quite sure. It seems to be based on surrounding the rest of us by meeting at Chili’s?]

CRITICAL EMERGENCY UPDATE — DAILY KOS EXCLUSIVE: Home again now. Home not surrounded. Neighbors seem placid, no surrounding seems imminent. Possible conservative flanking maneuver on 2nd street turned out to be loose dog.

Of course, a conservative talk-radio sponsored function in Utah was a big success. No surprises there.

No word on the turnout in Lafayette, LA, but the mockery in the comments is pretty telling. Also, some pretty sturdy objections to the theocratic posturings of the two “celebrity” event hosts, Beck and “TV’s Chuck Norris.” The martial arts star threw a barbecue at his Texas home, announced his readiness to be President of Texas when they secede, offers himself to serve a Godly republic,  etc. Actual Texans were not that impressed, frankly.

The rest of the country is too cold (and possibly too reality-based) to think about outdoor BBQs yet. So most of the events were held in restaurants and bars that either agreed to change the channel on the TV, or that had function rooms that could be reserved. The regionalism of the OMGWTFBBQ mindset is evident.

Hundreds gathered for a viewing party of Beck’s tearstained special in Asheville, NC.

Portsmouth had an event at a restaurant that was SRO. This supposedly non-partisan concept was hosted by the local Republican party and their supporters.  Newsflash: the GOP lost the election.

Rexburg. Home of BYU-Idaho. Dude, they already surround non-believers there… Almost 400 turned out,  so all three of the non-LDS Democrats stayed home and made escape plans.

The whole thing is based on Beck’s concept of “912: 9 Principles, 12 Values” which are listed here (on a site unlikely to crash, as Beck’s site did yesterday).

Note how carefully worded they are so as to seem “not that crazy.” Some independent-minded people, even self-identified liberals, might not think they are such a bad idea, except for the problem of enthusiastic older ladies forming militias and marching on Washington to overthrow the gubmint.

The 9 principles
1. America is good.

2. I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life.

3. I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday.

4. The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government.
[…except for those whose spouse is Teh Gay, of course. They must be purged.]

5. If you break the law you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it.

6. I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results.
[Translation: “I have a right to life, liberty, and happiness. You, not so much.”]

7. I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable.
[Translation: I read Ayn Rand in college, which formed my core values as a selfish S.O.B.]

8. It is not “un”-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion.
[Translation: …except for liberal traitors who complained post-9/11 about “curtailment of civil rights,” “extrajudicial rendition,” and “illegal war.”]

9. The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me.
[Especially after I threw a big donation their way at that golf junket to Bermuda]

The 12 values
Honesty
Reverence
Hope
Thrift
Humility
Charity
Sincerity
Moderation
Hard Work
Courage
Personal Responsibility
Gratitude

Some of these seem reasonable, some of these are a little suspect. Here’s my take:

Ginny’s 10 Principles For A Better,  Kinder World

1. America (and the world) could be better, if it weren’t for our deep well of stupid preventing progress.
2. Insert creed of your choice here, or quote a moral philosophy, such as “Be kind, rewind.”
3. No change.
4. See 2 above: express importance of family in your own terms. Cherish them and your pets.
5. No change. Cheney better pack a bag for a long stretch Inside.
6. All people should have the right to life, liberty,  clean water, food, and the pursuit of happiness.
7. I work hard for what I have and I am willing to help people who have less than I do.
8. It is the duty of every American to speak out on injustice, while not being a dick about it.
9. No change. Addendum:  all corrupt politicians must be thrown out of office.
10. Science and religion should never be mixed, or bad science and bad religion are the result.

That should do it. The Virtues list is all right as it currently stands, although I might add a few of my own, such as:

Compassion
Tolerance
Inclusion
Forgiveness
Kindness
Humor
Open-Mindedness
Curiousity
Love (the greatest Virtue of all)