And now for something completely different: a blog about running a stately home that's part residence, part public museum, and completely amusing:
The Cow Whisperer
I stood at the gates, trying to pinpoint where the noise was coming from. I’d driven up to the entrance to unlock the gates and had heard something new and interesting. Ah! There!
Peering over the hedge I could see the Farmer on his quad bike, attempting to round up his herd of cows. He was not doing terribly well. The cows were forming breakaway groups and scattering to all four corners of the meadow, instead of going through the gate into the next field as intended. “You fucking bastard cows!”
My grin broadened. The Farmer was entirely oblivious to me, his attention focussed on his unruly herd. “Fucking move. MOVE! You fucking, fucking bastards!” Reluctantly I returned to my car and continued on my way, much as I would have enjoyed watching and listening to more.
Later that day I encountered the Farmer down at the house. “Hello!” I beamed. “I heard you earlier, moving your cows!” He laughed.
“Ah, yes, then you would have heard me cow whispering.”
“Cow whispering,” I repeated, delighted.
“It’s an art,” he affirmed.
“Well, the school group I was in charge of was really impressed.”
There was a moment, just a moment, when he thought this may have been true. Then he saw my grin and knew I was just teasing. Still, I missed a trick there. It would have been so much fun to fake a child’s drawing of the Farmer on his quad bike, with some lovely accompanying text in clumsy lettering, saying “we did go to the farm and we did see ducks and lambs and trees and flowers and fucking bastard cows”.
Wow. Thank you! I am very flattered and pleased you enjoy my bulletins. I love to think I have helped to raise a smile, somewhere 🙂
Ha ha – that was very funny and brought back many memories. I too am expert at cow and sheep whispering, I’ve also been the poor idiot riding round and round in circles while the cows have a laugh.:o I’ve only read this one post so far but will be viewing more for sure. Bob.
I laughed so hard reading your blog, Doris. You hve a gift for writing, and also the luxury of living somewhere interesting to write about!
Sorry to take so long in replying myself, but we’ve been floating about the Caribbean on a boat full of people who were partying like it’s 1979. It’s been a lot of fun but I’m looking forward to writing more boring posts about current events and churchy stuff.
I will miss the palm trees and warm weather, though. Oh, yes.
Floating about in the Caribbean is one of the best reasons I can think of for not being near a computer!
And thanks again for your lovely comments.