It’s that show again, and David’s doing his best to hunker down and ignore the hollering from my end of the couch. Rileycat has run into the other room, looking for invisible Martian cats (owing to the “meowing” sound effects .wav David found the other night) so it’s time to watch the season premiere of Amazing Race, featuring a bunch of “All Stars” from seasons past.
Kevin and Drew!
Rob and Ambuh. BoOOOOOOO!!!111!!!
Uchenna and Joyce. Meh. They won before, and I’m not into them.
Dustin and Kandice MEH!!! They don’t deserve this. NOT All-Star material.
Joe and Bill. Gentlemen, to evil!!
Mirna and Charla!!!!!!!
David and Mary. Old news, but they’re likeable. Race chum, though. Mary’s wearing a “MISSING: The Cho Brothers” shirt.
Teri and Eye-an!! He’s wearing the Asshat!
Oswald and Danny! CHAAAAAAAAA!!!
JonVito and Jill!!! Love love love them. They were awesome in Season 3. They’re not together now, but hoping to re-connect.
Eric and Danielle, from different teams on Season Nine. Meh. Not All Stars in my book. Nice abs, though.
Off to Quito, Ecuador!
“I tol’ you, less martinis and more cardio.” says Oswald or Danny. Danny, I think. I love them, but they’re from the season before I really started watching the show, so I only know them and Kevin and Drew from the reruns on G4.
Did you know Guidos come to Miami every seven years? And they used to live in Paris. For two years. Really!
Hoorah, says Ian.
Charla can’t believe she outran Drew. Neither can I. He is like, 5 or 6 times her size.
JVJ first on the shuttle, then Cha, after Rob and Amber let them on the next one.
Terri wonders if they have a team name. That’s Asshat. Team Asshat.
The first use of Rapido, Rapido, Rapido, and we’re not even out of the States yet.
Oh, SNAP. Mary and David never checked the arrival times before buying the ticket on the slower flight.
Off to the Cluebox at Plaza San Francisco.
And the first instance of Mirnish makes its appearance. Man, that never gets old.
Rats, Rambuh keep getting places first.
Oh!! Drew takes a bad fall at the Plaza and thinks his shoulder is dislocated. 10 minutes later, he’s gesturing with it, so he’s on the mend.
Looks like they’re sleeping on cots under a tent. Fun.
I love what Danny just says after Rambuh says there’s nobody they’d want to race against, but everyone else would want to race against them. He says “We know Rob and Amber, because… (he looks expressively bored)… we live on this planet.” Heh.
First Detour: involves animals or military costumery! Yay!
Oh, GOD. Rob and Amber come in first. ASSHOLES. And they win yet another trip, and they look bored at the news, and so does Phil. He just seems to sort of… wind down slowly as he describes the fabulous amenities of a trip to Whistler. It’s a very, very odd moment.
Chas: Second.
Teri and Ian: Third
Eric and Danielle are fourth.
Charla and Mirna are crying. They came the wrong way, via the wrong entrance, and have to go all the way around. Kevin and Drew, and also JVJ, made the same mistake.
Guido: Fifth
Barbies: Six
Uchenna and Joyce: Seven
Shmirna: Eighth, and David and Mary are Nine. Or none!
Kevin and Drew are Ten.
JVJ arrive last and have to do the task. Sad music plays. DAMN. Damn, damn, damn. At least now they’re off to Sequesterville for a nice vacation together. Strangely, aside from the high comedy of seeing Rob trudging around the Ecuadoran countryside dressed as a gold-braided generalissimo in search of his sword, epaulet and a button. NO one else, apparently, went for this option, so Rob looked like a total, pompous ass, a role to which he is uniquely suited. Aside from anything to do with putting
stuff together with his hands, or making a quick roadside repair, that is.
Well, there’s a season premiere to make you say “What the hell happened?” It’s really odd starting this season out already knowing the teams’ personalities, quirks, knicknames, and schtick. And it’s very weird seeing teams from different seasons vying against each other – although it’s also extremely annoying seeing teams like Uchenna and Joyce, who won their year, and Rob and Amber, who came in second the same year, back on my screen. I didn’t like them that much then, and I don’t now.
In fact, I like almost everybody else, except for Dustin and Kandice, the Barbies, or the Blondies, or whatever their nickname was. Dave and Mary I can take up to a point, but really have to wonder how well they can do on their own. Well, actually, they did all right once they got away from town.
David: AAAAARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!