Ha! What a great HALF a leg so far. I love how the producers figure out ways to change the rules, play with expectations, and keep this show fresh. In a normal 2-person team, international itinerary season, of course.
This week I started smelling a rat at the beginning, when Phil said “Who will be eliminated… next?” In the past, this always used to herald a non-elimination leg. Fans got wise to this. Producers got wise to fans getting wise, and sometimes a team was eliminated on a “…next?” type episode.
Tonight, it wasn’t a non-elim, and I should have known what it was sooner. Last week, the Pit Stop came extremely early in the hour – at around the halfway mark. Often that’s because they end up devoting an unusual amount of screen time to some trailing team’s struggles, but it was no more than usual. Maybe they were saving up for all the action this week?
When the episode ended, the two good-looking slacker guys, Eric and Jeremy, had just landed on the mat, manned only by Phil, no greeter. He told them “You’re the first team to arrive…” which is when the penny finally dropped. Usually, each team is told “You are the Nth team to arrive.” The leg is not over, it’s a two-parter, and this is the earliest they’ve ever done this that I can remember. Which means it was a pretty expensive one, because there are still 9 teams left, so they have to plan for that many setups for Roadblocks and Detours.
It was a frustrating and tiring leg for many – from all appearances, they had the luxury of a little longer stay at the Pitstop (usually there are 2 or 3 extended Pitstops, lasting 36 hours so teams have a little more R&R time). So they started fresh, had a bus ride of an unknown number of hours to the airport, then flew all the way to Moscow, Russia via Frankfurt. All on the same flight, no jockeying, so the staggered departure times on the buses turned out to be meaningless suspense-fill. However, Lake stubbornly went the wrong way anyway when driving to the bus station, so they provided plenty of suspense for a while. Will Lake be able to find his way back to the fateful turn in the road (with the helpful sign that said “Brotas =>”? Will he be able to see over the sugar cane if he climbs on top of the Bug, but caves the roof in? Will he be able to pull his head out of his ass and shift at the same time? Predictably, he didn’t take responsibility for the wrong turn, and used the marital “we,” as in “We sure screwed that up.” No, you pretty much screwed that up all by yourself, Lake. I’d sure like him better if he dialed back the inTENSity and admitted when his (weekly) poor decisions result in a delay.
After the long flight, they all struggled more or less to get around. Moscow was looking beautiful, and some of the shots we saw were gorgeous. The interior of the Smolensk Cathedral at the monastery was gorgeous – BJ and Tyler were the first there, and took an appropriate moment to just look up and look around in wonder. They were still playing to the cheap seats in this episode, but were more subdued. I’d like them best if they were more…like Team Subdude. They were wearing some sort of matching T-shirt with lettering on it – means something to their friends or families, I guess. All the other teams found the cathedral without problem.
The Roadblock was one that I’d never be able to complete – you had to jump off the 10-meter platform at a swim center, and when you eventually surfaced, dive back down a few feet at the far end of the pool and pull a clue. When I took swimming classes as a kid, I totally refused to go “in at the deep end.” They would march us to the end, we’d line up for the diving board, and we were supposed to swim back. I wouldn’t do it, and the alternative was to walk all the way back. I think one time I did at least get in the pool at the far end, struggled back clinging to the edge because I also refused to put my face in the water and swim properly and barfed in the drainage channel right under the spectators’ seats. I made a spectacle of myself that day, because Mom and the other parents were there for our “graduation.” Well, I was only 6 or so, but afraid of the water, and the swim lessons only made that fear worse, because I had to endure the impatience of the instructors and the derision of the other kids. Fortunately, the class ended after the Barfing Incident – the teacher gave me a disgusted look as she hosed down the channel, but she said she was sorry she’d put me through that, because it was clear I wasn’t ready. Well, duh. I’m still not ready.
Anyway. They all got through that more or less intact. Naturally, whichever frat boy that did it got to show off his glistening, rippling abs. Thank you. Thank you so much. Then the one mom-daughter team struggled – Wanda, the mother, had a fear of the water, but in the end with her daughter and the Russian swim coach’s encouragement, she complete. So good for her! But dial back the dramatics, it’s a waste of your energy.
Things started to come unstuck for the leading teams right away – most made the “right” choice for the Detour, a trolley-bus washing task, where you’re in control of your destiny, as Phil says, and not looking for a tiny slip of paper in one of hundreds of Matryoshka dolls. But, the first few teams couldn’t find the trolley place, so they ended up bailing and going for the doll task. Then one of the Pink girls, who were sharing a cab all cozy with the Boys (I can’t really get comfortable with any other moniker for them, they’re such… boys) realized she’d left the freaking Race pack behind, which contains money, passports, clues, maps, condoms.. you know, the essentials. So they jumped out of the cab and went back. I have to say – stupid move, but they get half a point for not screwing around, whining, begging the Boys to drive them back, or anything like that. They just hopped out and got it done. Also half a point for not wasting any screentime on recriminations or blame or whining or crying.
Wanda and Desiree spotted the Pinks coming back for the bag, realized they weren’t last anymore, and got a new burst of energy and hope. Pinks knew they were last. Then we were treated to the sight and sound of dolls, Racers, dancers, and some kind of scary Russian band with cheekbones you could open a 6 1/2 ounce bottle of Coke on. Some teams had struggled so much with communication that they just gave their clues to their drivers and said “take us to whichever.” I think it was Ray or Lake that said “Oh, this is the dolls one.” It did not look fun, and it looked like it was set up to be as confusing and distracting and difficult to be methodical as possible. There were dancers that went around and around the curved, interlocking tables the hundreds of dolls were on, and the music was loud, and apparently you had to take each doll apart, then put it back together, not leave it. And there wasn’t a lot of room to put dolls that you were finished with down, so it would be easy to get confused and do the same one twice. It seems to me the best strategy would be to start opening the smaller dolls, because the clue seemed always to be wrapped around the smallest, most inward, solid wood doll. But everybody seemed to want to start with larger dolls. Maybe the smaller dolls visible on the table were solids, anyway. Most of the leading teams joked and worked doggedly away. Finally, they started to find the clues. Predictably, Fran and Barry were the last ones left there – they had tried to avoid going there, but were one of the teams that had had to bail on the trolley-washing. Predictably, BJ (okay, well Tyler) played to the camera with his clue a little too much when he found it. I like them, I really do, but I’m a bit tired of their “lookitmeness.” The first couple of teams to depart seemed pretty happy with how long the task took, however, so maybe they didn’t feel they’d burned that much time.
The trailing teams suddenly found themselves back in the hunt, because as luck, that bitch, would have it, their cab drivers took them directly to the trolley-washing task site. So everyone surmised correctly that the dolls task might take longer, but because of how all the lead teams were stacked up (heh) with their Matryoshka task, the trolley-washers’ odds of completing were somewhat improved. When the episode ended, I think there were three or four teams at the trolley place – Wanda and Des were close to done, followed by the Pinks, then Dave and Lori, and then I think maybe Joseph and Monica (not sure, that last team didn’t distinguish themselves much this week).
The previews showed people dancing in lederhosen and hitting each other over the head with breakaway bottles of wine, so it looks like Germany or Switzerland or Austria next. Fran and Barry look to be Team Last to Arrive when we continue next week, so their reaction at the mat will be predictable, too – “OH MY GOD!”
It’s weird about the Boys – they pulled some really… offensively sexist crap in their banter and interactions with the Pinks, and the girls just smiled and interviewed about how they’d gotten to know the Boys better during the layover. The touching and lame lines like “Oh, you’ve got a sticker on your sweater, let me get it off for you” and then pretending to bite something off one Pink’s boob was particularly… stupid. I guess they get by on their charm, and they’re unfailingly polite to cab drivers and people they encounter, but the disrespect they show the Pinks is just.. not right.
I wonder if anyone has ever slapped or smacked either of them for pulling that crap? Apparently not.