Naturally, I am drinking Sam Adams for the speech.
Fanatical Apathy – The 2006 State of the Union Drinking Game
Strong and stronger! [drink]
9/11! [drink]
Weapons of mass (murder) [drink]
terrorists hate our freedom! [drink]
EVIL! He said evil! [drink]
Clear plan for victory in Iraq! YAY! [drink]
War is difficult. Sounds like “hard work” to me. [drink]
We are winning! Woohoo! [drink]
Support our troops! Ovation of teh evul minions! [drink]
Military making sacrifices. Sounds like “hard work” to me. [drink]
(Justifiable ovation for the family of the soldier killed in Fallujah. Support our troops, damn you, by bringing them home. Boy, these ovations are can’t-miss, aren’t they?)
Iranian newkiller weapons! [drink]
(lip service about female education in poor countries. Will not be funded and of course there will be no family planning piece)
(here we go – Patriot Act)
9/11! [drink]
By authority given to me and by the Constitution…[drink]
(pause to prepare a delicious dinner of teriyaki salmon, nori-sesame-bonito seasoned sushi rice, and spinach salad with honey citrus dressing)((Soy Vey, I love you))(((don’t look so shocked, the salad is a “kit”)))
(and now into the domestic portion: this is where I get to drink some more)
Tax cuts! [drink]
Permanent tax cuts! [drink]
What the hell is “Non security discretionary spending?” Oh. Defense. We’re cutting the hell out of our social programs, yadda yadda.
Scattered applause to “earmark reform.” McCain on camera. [drink]
And now on to the Elder Issue…
Democrats applaud on “congress did not act on my ‘proposal’ to ‘save’ Social Security. Republicans sit glumly. [drink][drink][drink]
This is like watching 2 bleachers full of basketball fans. Yay! Boo! Standup! Siddown! We got spirit, how bout you? [drink]
(bite of delicious salmon hits floor. The rot is setting in.)
What the hell. [drink] [drink] [drink]
Medical records? Sounds sorta fishy. Just in case… [drink]
Our wimmin need OB-GYNS to have more babies! [drink]
Ah, the oil addiction. (David says “and he’s the pusher”)[drink]
No mention of hybrid cars yet. No drink.
Hybrid cars! Hydrogen cells! Okay. [drink]
Give our nation’s children an edge in math and science! Here’s an idea, repeal all intelligent design laws! Oh, wait, that part’s just a fantasy. [drink]
No Child Left Behind = No Education Will Be Funded. [drink]
Oh, ho… “natural disaster.” If he takes responsibility for Katrina, I get to drink…
Society and the culture wars: no drink
Alito: no drink. The minions slaver for liberal blood.
Activist judges! [drink]
Say goodbye to the nice lady judge, girls, she was your last hope for control over your own bodies for many years to come.
Lip service re lobbying scandal (Hil can be heard yelling “Yeah!”: no drink.
Emergency: 85 BEELION dollars to the Gulf Coast! Rebuilding levees!
Too little, too late! [drink][drink][drink]
No mention of failures re Katrina. Not hearing “I am responsible,” here. No drink.
BARACK! [drink] (I love that guy) [drink]
And rah-rah, sis-boom-bah, God Bless America. [drink]
(break)
Okay, the Democratic response from Gov. Tim Kaine of Virginia.
Coretta Scott King! [drink]
You have a right to expect your government to deliver results.
Mention staggering national debt. Has Debt been drinking? [drink]
Tim seems like a nice guy, but he’s waving his hands too much.
No Child Left Behind wreaking havoc! School funding! [drink]
Student loan programs cut by Congress! [drink]
His eyebrow bugs me. No drink.
They should have gotten Obama. No drink.
Wow, this guy is young. At least he’s not Teddy Kennedy. [drink]
Canadian prescription drugs! [drink]
No Child left uninsured in Virginia! [drink]
Support our troops… we all do, you know. [drink]
9/11! [drink]
Are the President’s policies the best way to win this war? [drink]
Bad body armor, bad intelligence, reduce military benifits? [drink]
There’s a better way. [drink]
Okay, that about does it. I only got through 2 beers, so obviously next time I need to drink more and type less.
