Oh, man, this looks like fun.
The Iditarod is the famous long-distance race in which yelping dogs tow a sled across Alaska. Our Idiotarod is pretty much the same thing, except that instead of dogs, it’s people, instead of sleds, it’s shopping carts, and instead of Alaska it’s New York City.
The third annual event happens January 28, 2006. It will start in Brooklyn, run into Manhattan, and end approximately five miles later. Teams of five will race for a cash prize. And glory.
*Who can race?*
Anyone. Everyone. Last year we had 500 runners. We anticipate more this year. You can forward this invitation to anyone you know.
*Isn’t it going to be cold?*
You can count on it. The race goes off rain or shine, blizzard or breeze. Bundle up.
*What’s the route?*
That’s up to you. The race begins in Brooklyn at 2pm. We will announce two checkpoints and a finish line on our website a week before the race. You choose the fastest path. You will be held for 20 minutes at each checkpoint. There will be booze at the checkpoints.
*Can we get drunk?*
It makes the pain go away.
*Are there rules?*
Yes, quite a few of them. For starters, four people must be attached to and running in front of the cart at all times. There will be referees along the route to disqualify cheaters. We’ll release a more detailed list of rules a week before the event.
*Does my team need its own shopping cart?*
Yes.
*Where do we get a cart?*
Be resourceful.
*Are you suggesting we steal it?*
We didn’t say that.
*Can we modify our shopping cart?*
Yes, although there are rules — kind of like stock car racing. Your shopping cart must roll on four rubber caster wheels. The only exception is that you can attach some sort of sled substructure to the bottom of the cart in case of deep snow or treacherous ice. As a general rule, you can attach things to your cart, make a riding platform, and grease up your wheels. You can also chop up the cart and rearrange the pieces — but they all have to be accounted for. And because one team has already asked, no, your shopping cart can not be motorized.
*What do I do with my cart after the race?*
Get it away from us. Seriously. We faced a $5000 fine last year because of your precariously balanced shopping cart pile. While we’re all for spontaneous public sculptures and temporary memorials, we also believe in fuddy-duddy concepts like responsibility and civic pride. Really. Take the cardboard off the cart. Throw away the onboard water cannons. And take the cart somewhere else. Like a supermarket.
*What is this going to cost me?*
Dignity. Plus, there is a $5 per person entry fee.