I heard this one just now, and gave it the thundering silence it so richly deserved. Remember, people, if I’m talking to you on the phone at work, the clock is ticking! Don’t crack a joke unless it’s actually funny!

Me (in just-the-facts mode): “What’s your phone number?”
Caller (in sheepish I’m-such-a-hick mode): “It’s my pager.”
Me (in crisper, fact-checking mode): “Pager number?”
Caller (in damn-I’m-funny mode): “1-800-I-WISH-I-HAD-A-CELLPHONE”
Me (in crickets chirping mode): …
Caller (in damn-I’m-not-so-funny mode): “Sorry…”
Me (in even more crisp JUST THE FACTS mode): “PHONE number?”

Keep in mind, I can type at dictation speed, so when I ask a question, I expect an answer that I enter in the record and move on to the next question.

Thank you for calling. Buh-bye.