The Weavers did not win TAR8.
As had been predicted/spoiled previously, the Linzes won, the Bransens brought up a very tight second, the Weavers finished dead last.
According to TWOP, God got out of His Tub to fill in for Miss Alli’s mini-recap while she’s off in New York whooping it up and being thankful the Weavers lost.
25 Days, 50 Cities, and More Than 600 Consecutive Hours as a Family…
By God | Season 8 | Episode 11 | Aired on 2005.12.13Oh my Self, if the Weavers got My ass out of a hot tub ONCE MORE, I don’t know WHAT. “Please let us find the boat,” “please find us a good cab,” wah wah wah, me me me, BITCH PLEASE. I’ve got WARS going on belowdecks, My Only Son’s birthday is in less than TWO WEEKS and He’s IMPOSSIBLE to shop for, and I am STILL apologizing for circus peanuts and the jackelope — I’ve got nothing better to do than win a reality show for THAT squad of hypocrites? Oh HELL no, children of the earth.
So, I arranged for the Linzes to win. They seem like nice people, they ran a good race, and best of all, they didn’t ask Me for shit, just did their thing and did it well. And then I had the Bransens come in second, because ditto. And then the Weavers came in third, which is more than their asses deserve for abusing their relationship with Me for material gain, but the Holy Ghost wears his Free Rolly pin around everywhere and I just didn’t have the heart.
I’m going back to my lavender bubbles now. Anyone needs a list of the Great Lakes, call me, LINDA.
The final task was a geography one; one family member had to assemble a puzzle map of North America, from northernmost Canada to the end of the Isthmus of Panama. As about 3 dozen posters on TWOP alredy noted, with a final task like that, “The Weavers were screwed!!!” Remember, these kids were homeschooled by Linda, who thought Lake Pontchartrain was one of the Great Lakes, and wondered whether Pennsylvania was a state, among other gaffes.
The Linz boy and Wally Bransen rocked the puzzle task, but the Weaver who took the task was not shown. Because this family has been humiliating itself over matters of geography all season long, the producers probably felt that giving them the Guido edit while (probably Rolly or Linda) tried to figure out how to put everything other than Florida in the right place would be overkill.
And I have my doubts about whether they would have tried to place Florida in the middle of Lake Michigan, because they’re kinda the same shape and there’s water involved and all.
Anyway, thanks be to God.