These Are A Few Of My Unfav’rite Things

People who wear vile scents to work.
People who keep breaking their computers.
People who use speakerphones, at either end of the conversation.
People who are remorselessly chipper far too early in the morning.
People who must say “Hi! Hi! Hi! every time they walk past your area.
People whose every conversation is broadcast AT ELEVEN. IT GOES TO ELEVEN.
People who act in real life like they’d bloviate endlessly online.