Okay, this is what I was faced with yesterday – a borrowed car that was somehow even dirtier than mine. We were in the process of selling my, so to further that goal I swapped cars with a prospective buyer. Although he did not ultimately buy it, he did find someone else who will, so it’s all good. I got my car back today, but I won’t be driving it anymore… it’s suddenly turned into my old car much quicker than expected.
Bill Murray: Father Guido Sarducci was among the two hundred and forty traveling press people who covered the Pope’s United States tour. I bet it was quite a thrill. How did it go, Father?
[Cheers and applause as we pan over to the gentle, cigarette smoking, Italian-accented Father Guido Sarducci, gossip columnist for the Vatican newspaper.]
Father Guido Sarducci: It was. It was a real thrill, Bill. It was just terrific. But now I’m a little down. I have what my psychiatrist calls “post-papal depression.” … Was such a high, you know, bein’ on that tour and now it’s over. Only thing I didn’t like about the tour was the merchandising. They had, like, Pope T-shirts, Pope buttons, posters, banners, anything you can think of. You know, you can call me anti-materialistic if you want to but I just don’t think it’s right for somebody to make a T-shirt, put a person’s picture on it, and then not to give that person part of the percentage of the profits. … I mean, look at this. It’s amazing. [holds up a Pope T-shirt] If you buy T-shirt like this, it’s not just for the T-shirt you buy it — it’s because the Pope is on it. If you just want a T-shirt, you can go to J. C. Penney’s ‘stead of going through all the traffic and crowds. But the Pope, from this T-shirt, I’ll tell you what he got. He got absolutely zero. It was a rip-off. First, they did it to Mr. Bill, now the Pope. … [applause]
Of the blogs I read, I was wondering which one would get around to a Father Guido Sarducci reference first – it appears AKMA claims the honor.
As for the good father, it appears he is now a cardinal, and thus in the running once the papal conclave convenes. He reportedly enjoys support among the other Italian cardinals; his spotty record during the Seventies, when several women accused him of sexual harassment, is seen as “a step in the right direction.”
First, I see this:
Get Fuzzy And I think, "Marmot? We've got one around here somewhere."
And then I see this,
and think: One of our marmots is missing. And that, all three of you who aren't spamming my referral logs, is how my mind works. Thank you, I'm here all week.
The recaplet is up:
Adventures in Botswana continue as the teams start with a clue hunt that sends Brian and Greg into a spin. From there, they head to a Detour that includes goat-milking and the fine art of carrying stuff on your head. Ron and Kelly bicker their way through the goat-milking, while Lynn digs himself into a controversial hole with a crack about Uchenna and Joyce being “born to” carry things on their heads. Oh, and Rob and Amber are highly functional and work their way into first place again.
The Roadblock involves dragging logs and driving through water, and it turns out to be surprisingly uneventful, except for the teams who don’t properly complete it. Both Meredith and Gretchen and Uchenna and Joyce are sent back after arriving on the mat, but both manage to solve their problems fairly quickly. Not so Brian and Greg, who appear to be well behind for the entire leg, so severe was their mishandling of the very first clue.
They decide to hope for a non-elimination and show up at the mat wearing only swimsuits and warm hats (heh), daring Phil to leave them to soldier on with nothing but that to their names. Heartbreak ensues when it is not, in fact, a non-elimination round, and the brothers are sent home. Well, at least they outlasted Ray and Deana.
Well, this is how I choose to remember them – going out proud, comfortable, and endearingly wacky. Online fans are devastated, and the fans at work are sad, yet laughing over the boys’ exit strategery.
The recap for last week’s show is here.
The excellent TARflies survived a thunderstorm warning and uploaded the screencaps already.
And the CBS Early Show clip (Greg looks pretty good in that beard)is also now up. Again with the fashion sense – Brian’s got some sort of “Follow Me To The (something? Bar?)” hoodie, but Greg is surprisingly well turned out in a sport jacket.
And yes, the horrible, horrible furry flappy hat reminds me of Ignatius J. Reilly.
Dammit. JUST… dammit.
TWOP: “Houston, We Have An Elephant.”
Something went horrible-pearsheaped with the Brothers, who weren’t that far behind the two trailing teams at the outset, but went wrong and wandered around aimlessly for a little too long.
The editing made it clear that all the preceding teams watched carefully for little yellow-and-red route markers attached to roadside bushes, and the Brothers Awesomeov never remarked “oh, there’s a marker,” so I think they took a wrong turn.
As they remarked on discovering their error, “We are idiots.”
Where the hell was the damn bunching?? Where the hell was flying to another country and more airport bunching?
On the upside, the boys probably enjoyed the remainder of their time in Sequesterville, since they were pretty friendly with Megan and Heidi.
But… dammit. Still, how awesome was it that they decided to just strip, put on the dorkiest Ocean Pacific neon splatterprint swim trunks of 1985, their ugly sunglasses, the “Where’s Waldo’ winter knit hat we’d already seen, and a furry earflap hat… and go to the mat, expecting to be either eliminated or mugged.
Damn, they looked good, too. Several women on the TWOP boards are openly posting “Brian, Greg… call me” messages.
Damn, who will bring me my funny snarky sexy dorkiness each week? And what the hell did they have in their backpacks?
However, there was much good funny animal footage, and hoofage, and slitherage, and pawage. My favorite was the editorial goat, who dumped a big steaming load of pellets load RIGHT ON CUE, right on camera, just as that dastardly stinker Rob made a face as he milked industriously away at her no-doubt aching teats. Oh, thank you God. I owe You one.
I suppose you could say this is a culture of death, too.
And an unembalmed one, too. And the funeral is not until Friday? Um.
Not weak-tummy safe, that last link. But quite useful for watching the next new episodes of CSI:Whichever.
I hate when the terrorists mock us with the annoying “neener neener.”
Here is a brilliantly insightful analysis of the past two weeks’ worth of breaking, world-shaking news; I can’t bear to cut a single word:
TERRI SCHIAVO IS DYING! HER TUBE’S BEEN REMOVED, FOR GODSSAKES! THE SCHINDLERS ARE UPSET! HERE THEY ARE, BEING UPSET! MORE ON THAT IN A MINUTE! ALSO, WHAT’S UP WITH THAT MICHAEL SCHIAVO? WHY DOES HE WANT HER TO DIE!!!?? the US military killed a couple dozen of its prisoners in Iraq, by the way, and – OHMYGOD – MICHAEL JACKSON’S WEARING PAJAMAS!! THE MAN’S WEARING PAJAMAS TO COURT! HAVE YOU EVER HEARD SUCH A THING? WHAT THE HELL IS HE THINKING? MEANWHILE, TERRI SCHIAVO’S PARENTS ARE STILL PRETTY UPSET, AND WE’RE GONNA TALK TO A WORLD RENOWNED PHRENOLOGIST WHO SAYS SHE’S AS CONSCIOUS AS YOU AND ME! STAY TUNED!
WE’RE BACK, AND TERRI’S NOT GONNA LAST MUCH LONGER! some Native America kid just shot up a school. Lotsa dead Indians – OH MAN! TERRI’S PARENTS ARE APPEALING THE DECISION! MAYBE SHE’LL LIVE! YOU KNOW, IT’S REALLY GREAT THAT WE’RE HELPING AMERICA GET A DIALOG GOING ABOUT END OF LIFE ISSUES! NOT TO TOOT OUR OWN HORN, BUT… WHOA! APPEAL DENIED – WOULDJA LOOK AT THAT? WE’LL HAVE OUR LEGAL CONSULTANT IN HERE SOON TO TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING BUT THE ISSUE THAT THE COURTS HAVE BASED THEIR DECISIONS ON, BECAUSE THAT’S KIND OF BORING! BUT WAIT – MICHAEL JACKSON WAS LATE TO COURT AGAIN, AND THIS TIME HE BROUGHT A DOCTOR WITH HIM!! IS THAT GUY NUTS OR WHAT? A bomb killed a bunch of people in Beirut, and 4 American soldiers got blown up by a mine in Afghanistan AND RANDALL TERRY SAYS MICHAEL SCHIAVO’S A MURDERING ADULTERER!! WHOA!! WHAT’S MICHAEL SCHIAVO’S RESPONSE? NOTHING! UNLIKE TERRI’S PARENTS, HE WON’T TALK TO US, SO MAYBE SOMETHING’S UP WITH THAT!! WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK!
huh. a commission says that all our pre-war intelligence was ridiculous poppycock. imagine that. THE POPE’S DYING!! PROBABLY FOR REAL THIS TIME!! IS IT CONNECTED TO TERRI SCHIAVO? SOME PEOPLE SAY “YES!” IT’S AT LEAST IRONIC, IT BEING KIND OF EASTER AND ALL!! WILL EITHER OF THEM PULL THROUGH!?!? the price of oil is approaching 60 bucks a barrel – TERRI TERRI TERRI POPE POPE TERRI TERRI!!!!! TIME IS RUNNING OUT FOR TERRI SCHIAVO!! A PRIZE-WINNING PRESTIDIGITATOR SAYS SHE’S ACTUALLY FULLY AWARE AND WORKING ON HER PHD!!! BACK TO THE COURTS!! SPEAKING OF COURTS, MICHAEL JACKSON’S ACCUSER’S BROTHER SAYS HE SAW IT ALL!! BUT IS THE LYING SUMNABITCH CREDIBLE OR IS THE PERV INNOCENT? the US is selling fighter planes to a muslim military dictatorship (so’s China). India’s being a bunch of soreheads about it and – JESUS CHRIST IT LOOKS LIKE TERRI’S ON HER LAST LEGS!! Y’KNOW, SHE WAS SENSITIVE ABOUT HER APPEARANCE SO SHE’D PROBABLY HATE ALL THIS COVERAGE!! WE’RE GONNA TALK TO A NOBEL PRIZE NOMINATED PLUMBER WHO SAYS THAT TERRI JUST NEEDS AN OIL CHANGE!! BUT –
SHE’S DEAD! TERRI’S DEAD! AND THE POPE’S DEAD TOO!! OH MY GOD, WHO SAW THAT COMING!? NOT US! insurgents launched a couple of assaults on Abu Ghraib prison, killing and injuring dozens, and this might be related to that ‘US killed a lot of prisoners’ thingie – OH SWEET MOTHER OF MERCY, TERRI’S STILL DEAD, THE POPE’S DEAD, AND MICHAEL JACKSON LOOKS LIKE HE’S NOT EATING!!! TIME TO CHOOSE A NEW POPE, BUT FIRST THERE’S A GIANT FUNERAL AND A SILVER HAMMER AND WHAT WOULD TERRI THINK ABOUT ALL THIS!!?? WE’LL TALK TO A WELL-RESPECTED CHRISTIAN UNICYCLIST WHO SAYS THAT TERRI’S DEATH PROVES THAT WE NEED A NATIONAL ANTI-GAY MARRIAGE AMENDMENT, AFTER THESE MESSAGES…
Absolutely effing brilliant analysis. Yes, yes, serious issues all. But this is brilliant. And yes, I’ve been caught up in it.
I’ve been watching the live webcast via CBS News off and on for a couple of days. Currently it’s just after midnight in Rome, and people are still streaming in the doors of St Peter’s Basilica and past the bier where the body of Pope John Paul II lies in state. The plans are to leave the church open all night except for a 3 hours’ cleaning, so that as many people as possible can pay their respects. The line is moving fairly briskly, it’s about 8 or 10 people across, and it’s probably at least a mile long or more, because there appears to be no end in sight.
Ironic that the two people in the “TERRI TERRI TERRI POPE POPE TERRI TERRI!!!!!” stories had such different experiences – one lingered for 15 years, and one had a peaceful and reportedly quite lucid death. Apparently there was no living will for the Pope, either – but he had the option of insisting on going home to die (albeit with what amounted to an entire ICU suite set up in his private aparments).
Sad. But I’m glad for them both that it’s over.
Oh – and “Michael Jackson for Pope! He’s got the threads, he’s got the moves, and he’s got the legal counsel!”
Within the legal limits: At least one legislator promises to vote against any bills targeting poker houses. "What I know about those clubs is that you are not gambling," said Rep. Greg Hughes, R-Draper, who has played at Big SLC on three occasions, but is obviously uncomfortable talking about it. "I enjoy poker. . . . Recreationally, of course. . . . Within the legal limits," he said between long pauses. The clubs "deserve as little government intervention as any other law-abiding club or group." Former Republican legislator David Zolman plays once a week and ranks in the top 20 at Big SLC Poker. "It is purely for the entertainment value, and sometimes prizes, but no money games are played."
Ooop, those legislative boys are going to change their tune real fast, because word has come down from on high that gambling is a sin. That 'squeek-squeek' sound you hear is that of their legislative tricycles hastily being slammed into reverse. That's not going to stop my mom and her cronies from riding the Fun Bus to Wendover (April 16! With CyberSlut Bingo!), though. And as a public service to all those members of my family that drive up to Malad to buy lottery tickets, the SL Trib publishes the Idaho Lottery results. Timmy: that particular Fun Bus is probably NOT the one full of little old blue haired ladies looking to gamble their bowling pot winnings. It's to benefit the Gay Men's Meth Crisis Utah. But maybe she'd like to give it a whirl, because it's probably going to be a real adventure, along the lines of "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert." If Utah succeeds in cracking down on Texass Hold Them, Poke Her they are welcome to outlaw spam (why yes, I'm getting a lot of spam from online casinos, why do you ask?).
Here are some tips for those ready to begin research into whether this is the car for them. Personal research is all-important because many Ford dealer salespeople are not knowledgable about the FEH. Learn everything you can learn from the ‘official’ hybrid vehicle manufacturer websites such as the Ford Hybrid, Toyota, and Honda websites. This will give you a bit of understanding about what a hybrid is and some assorted terminology. Using browser search tools, find online discussion groups and join in the chatter. There is a wealth of positive and negative information from real people.
Note: one of the articles clarifies that “FWD” means “front wheel drive” and “AWD” means “all wheel drive.” We had that wrong yesterday when discussing sticker options.
We test-drove a Ford Escape Hybrid a while back; it was purely on a whim then, but we’ve now come around to the idea of wanting a capable SUV that has good gas mileage (what with the highway robbery at the pumps these days) and is designed with the environment in mind. It’s looking very much like we’re going to buy one this week, but we need to do a little more homework and make sure that we’re not paying more than necessary.
We went to about 6 dealerships Sunday, drove another Hybrid and also a Blazer, but the other dealerships were just not that into talking with us apparently, even after David set off a car alarm at the Jeep location. Weird – we weren’t even greeted at one place, and I thought that was the cardinal rule. The Jeep location was the most irritating; come on, people! We’re honking the horn at you indoors for a reason! Oddly enough, we didn’t even need to test drive the Liberty to know that we didn’t like it – we jumped inside, looked around, and said “Yuck.” For me it was especially uncomfortable – the ceiling was a couple of inches above the top of my head. One good speedbump and “BAM!” I’d be even more of a head case than I am already.
We nattered a bit about the Blazer, but Chevy is discontinuing it to concentrate on the bigger-ass Trail Blazer (affectionately known since our May 2004 road trip as the Silver Beast) for some weird reason (why??? the gas mileage sucks!). David liked driving a Blazer once on another trip several years ago, but this time, the Escape won out. It’s a very comfortable size for both of us.
Oh, and… hee hee! I get the RAV4, and we’re getting rid of my Corolla. I’m quite happy about this. No more skedaddling about in the snow.
