Bill Murray: Father Guido Sarducci was among the two hundred and forty traveling press people who covered the Pope’s United States tour. I bet it was quite a thrill. How did it go, Father?

[Cheers and applause as we pan over to the gentle, cigarette smoking, Italian-accented Father Guido Sarducci, gossip columnist for the Vatican newspaper.]

Father Guido Sarducci: It was. It was a real thrill, Bill. It was just terrific. But now I’m a little down. I have what my psychiatrist calls “post-papal depression.” … Was such a high, you know, bein’ on that tour and now it’s over. Only thing I didn’t like about the tour was the merchandising. They had, like, Pope T-shirts, Pope buttons, posters, banners, anything you can think of. You know, you can call me anti-materialistic if you want to but I just don’t think it’s right for somebody to make a T-shirt, put a person’s picture on it, and then not to give that person part of the percentage of the profits. … I mean, look at this. It’s amazing. [holds up a Pope T-shirt] If you buy T-shirt like this, it’s not just for the T-shirt you buy it — it’s because the Pope is on it. If you just want a T-shirt, you can go to J. C. Penney’s ‘stead of going through all the traffic and crowds. But the Pope, from this T-shirt, I’ll tell you what he got. He got absolutely zero. It was a rip-off. First, they did it to Mr. Bill, now the Pope. … [applause]

Of the blogs I read, I was wondering which one would get around to a Father Guido Sarducci reference first – it appears AKMA claims the honor.

As for the good father, it appears he is now a cardinal, and thus in the running once the papal conclave convenes. He reportedly enjoys support among the other Italian cardinals; his spotty record during the Seventies, when several women accused him of sexual harassment, is seen as “a step in the right direction.”