Oh boy! Tonight I get to go to traffic school! I’m going to learn how to traffic! For four whole hours! Oh boy oh boy!
Dear all 3 of you who continue to read this blog in spite of incessant posts about TAR and Holy Moly: today is a special day. Today I actually have something different to blather about.
They say that crime does not pay. They don’t say that crime actually turns out to be a major pain in the ass and an inconvenience, and the out of pocket expenses can be considerable.
Some time ago now – quite a long time ago, but it takes the wheels of justice a really, really long time to do all that grinding exceeding fine, I was on my way to work. And yes, I was running a little late. Next thing I know, the bright red and blue lights start flashing in my rear-view mirror.
Who knew that there was a speed trap on Golf Road, with a radar gun set up in the parking lot of Toys ‘R Us? Not the good people at Speedtrap.org, apparently. And neither did I.
I tried to sign up for taking the class over the Internet, but missed a deadline. So off to class I go.
UPDATE: Class was pretty much what I expected – 4 hours of mostly boredom, leavened by some interesting facts and a couple of lively conversations. The best was one workgroup’s analysis of the hazards drivers of different ages present (the “everyone else is either a maniac or an idiot” syndrome).
Ages 16-25: Agressive, inexperienced, think they’re invincible, too many passengers in the car, loud music, speeding, and having sex while driving. Yes, that was actually part of their analysis.
Ages 26-65: Rushed, tired, children in the car, putting on makeup or shaving in the car, talking on the cell phone, late for work or child care, stressed out, have road rage, watching TV in the car, worried about money or other concerns, and daydreaming. I added “not getting enough sex while driving.”
Ages 66-90: Slower reaction times, drive more slowly than other traffic, possible impairment due to use of prescription and non-prescription drugs, possible vision or hearing problems, poor posture causing a hunched driving position and inability to see over the top of the steering wheel.
Yes, they really did say that last one. We added “irritability due to being unable to have sex while driving” just for fun. It was all in the spirit of education, I suppose.
The instructor was very nice but spent a lot of time eliciting responses and anecdotes from the class – and there was one older guy (there’s always That One Guy) who had a major chip on his shoulder and complained bitterly that the whole thing was a crock, that the Secretary of State (past and present) was a corrupt bastard who was getting fat on all the fines, and that nobody could tell him how to drive. Lovely man.
And you should have seen everyone burn rubber, peel out, and otherwise rev up while leaving the parking lot of the hotel where the class was held.