GONE: Ryan and Chuck

And they’re the first team eliminated from TAR7 – I’m disappointed because they both spoke pretty decent conversational Spanish and they were funny – on the zip line task, Ryan looks into the camera with his belly hanging over the rigging straps and says “We’re about to step off the side of this mountain, and I believe we’re the first to load test the line.” And with that, Chuck hit bottom at the beginning of the first zipline. Then from the bottom Ryan observed “What do we do now, sit and wait for Fat Boy to come down?” It was the closest thing to “Swing, you fat bastard!” we’ve had in a long, long time.

It was Death by Slow Taxi – they were ninth headed to the Pit Stop at Convento La Merced but were passed up by the blonde “booby beauties” and the POW/Beauty Queen team.

It’s hard keeping track of everything with this latest batch of rookies. The two brothers are not only hunky, but willing to dork around on themselves and be friendly with the locals. Also, they obvioously think that either Blondie or Debbie and Bianca are attractive, but also are under the impression that they’re very pretty lesbians because the girls are very affectionate with one another. There’s no shortage of hot honeys for them to mack on, and you can see their funny little boy-brain wheels turning. Hilarious hijinks may ensue.

Next order of business: official nicknames by arrival order. This season, nicknames may change to reflect honorable play in each episode, or doofus behavior, or just because something strikes me funny. So subject to change, eh? As in previous season premieres, there was no Roadblock. NO mention of the Yield so far. Also, some teams get real nicknames, some get provisional nicknames, and some teams didn’t distinguish themselves enough to get a nickname, I just kept writing the names down when they’d arrive and depart clues and tasks.

Debbie and Bianca: The Blinger Sisters (they won $10,000 each)
Susan and Patrick: (Nope. They’re snotty, though. Literally)
Rob and Amber: Rambuh
Brian and Greg: Team What? when they lucked into the 7:00 am flight
Lynn and Alex: The Boys
Meredith and Gretchen: Fogeyhat
Ray and Deana: (Nope. He’s sure bossy, though)
Uchenna and Joyce: Soul but they’ll probably earn a better one later.
Megan and Heidi: Blondie and they weren’t as annoying as I thought.
Ron and Kelly: Freedom but that’ll probably change too.
Ryan and Chuck: Sorry, Hillbillies you were too slow, and not self-navigators.

Debbie and Bianca are good competitors. They had a wobbler when the more high-strung one freaked at not being able to get her llama sorted out, so they Bald-Snarked the Detour and switched to the “carry the basket with a rope” task. Their Spanish is excellent, and they kept track of exactly where they were in their cabs, so they could suggest routes or know when the driver was taking a short cut.

Once again, the teams that got on the earlier arriving flight were fine, and the ones that got on the second (of only 2 pre-determined flights LAX-LIM) were scum-sucking bottom feeders most of the time, but there were a few bright lights that went on and some teams did move up in the standings. Like Rambuh. Damn that friendly local. Oh – and the Huckleberry Buddies were on the good flight, too. Just goes to show you that you have to stay sharp and not let people blow right past you – and you have to navigate yourself even when you’re in a taxicab, too.

Of course, it’s totally annoying that some guy recognized Rambuh on the plane and led them all around Cuzco. Which moved them up from Scum Class to 3rd Class. Grr. However, they did get around okay on their own, and Rob even jumped out and moved a stalled car that had them stuck on the way to the Pit Stop. So he’s not just going to sit there helplessly. Good sign.

Everyone was mostly having fun and competing with good humor, except of course for those last 10 minutes for the final three scum-suckers. And all were interacting with the locals (some of which, in high-altitude Cuzco, were in colorful traditional clothes or played music to entertain them while they waited to finish the ziplines).

“When in Incaland, do as the Incans do” – Rob, commenting on his “Incawear”
“Me llamo Greg. Gregorio.” – Um, yes, that would be you, Greg. Nice accent, too
“What?” – Brian and Greg, simultaneously, on finding an unused 7:00 departure

There was a scene where Lynn goes ga-ga for the baby llamas in their delivery-truck ride to Cuzco, and he picks one up and cuddles it while crooning a llama-cuddling song. He also sang some sort of “we’re in Peru, we’re in Peru” song that made everyone in the delivery truck, including the locals, look everywhere but at him. He doesn’t care, he’s having a good time. I thought it was funny that the Brothers and the Boys teamed up so effortlessly just because they happened to end up in the same delivery truck. There was much manly shaking of hands when both teams realized the inevitable.

And I think this weeks Good Karma award goes to Meredith and Gretchen, because when they fell over a lady’s chicken in the truck and broke her eggs, they reimbursed her.