Monthly Archives: December 2004

The Heterosexual Agenda

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But when straight people feel the need to flaunt their lifestyle choice in front of God and everybody, I simply have to draw the line! Heterosexuality tends to lead to excessive breeding and higher rates of divorce, neither of which I think ought to be encouraged. Why can’t they just be happy comprising roughly 96% of the population, and leave the rest of us to live our simple lives, unencumbered by the burden of birth control?? Is that so wrong??

(That last line ought to be read in the voice of Harvey Fierstein.)

Song: Judy Garland: “You’ll Never Walk Alone”

Damn my allergies! That was so good it calls for a post-blogital cigarette.

Thank God that my spouse and I were saved in time from a slavish devotion to the agenda; we are no longer encumbered or burdened by birth control thanks to the wonders of modern surgical medicine.

Seriously, though, I worry for friends, acquaintances, and complete strangers on the other side of the sexual fence. The other night I was discussing a possible church blog with my priest, and he’s worried that it’s not safe “in the current climate.” I keep seeing articles referencing more and more sly little attacks on gay rights, more and more blatantly anti-gay statements by politicians, and more pleas for tolerance falling on deaf ears. The recent refusal by CBS and NBC to run a mainline Protestant church’s ad, which shows gays and other minorities being refused entrance to a worship service by “church bouncers,” has been bothering me for a while. Why is it okay to accept statements from evangelical/fundamentalist ministers that espouse implicit intolerance in their public support of anti-gay legislation, while it’s not okay to accept an ad from a moderate church in support of tolerance and inclusivity?

This country is like one gigantic schoolyard, and the bullies have taken over the principal’s office, the nurse’s office, the janitor’s closet, the physical plant, the groundskeeper’s hut, and the ROTC club. Anybody who is so uncool as to be un-conventional and un-saved (and thus un-American) will get picked on like all the other weirdos.

It looks like the rest of us “uncool” and “weird” and “bent” and “differently abled” and “ethnic” kids had better barricade ourselves in the library…because if the bullies come after one bunch of weird kids, they’ll come after us all.

Icelandic Heat Keeps Blues Away

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If No Icelanders Admit To Feeling Blue, Are They?

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The premiere of TAR showed people tearing past gorgeous Icelandic scenery and pestering gorgeous Icelandic locals for directions to Seljalandfoss (waterfall) and Vatnajokull (glacier). In their interactions with some locals in a town, Don noted that everyone seemed to be “ripped” at 7 o’clock in the morning. An old Internet acquaintance who lived in Iceland had mentioned that there are a lot of problems with alcoholism, so I wasn’t as surprised as Don was. As a Nordic country with long, dark winters, you would think that there would also be a related seasonal depression problem, but this seems not to be the case.
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Personally, I think it’s the hot springs, the clear skies, pure air, and outdoorsy nature worship of the Icelandic culture, making it a place I would love to visit one day.
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Hay Ja, Absolut Exhaustion

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Miss Alli’s Recaplet:

Well, shoot. This week’s episode takes the teams to Sweden, where they get encased in ice and then go to — I am not making this up — a huge Ikea, because that’s what they have in Sweden. Of course, that’s what they have two minutes from my apartment, too. [Eye-roll.] Anyway, a brutal counting task proves too much for all but a few teams, so most of the group winds up slapping together particle-board furniture like there’s no tomorrow. Then, the teams move on to a punishing Roadblock in which hay bales have to be unrolled until a clue is found. It seems to take Lena and Kristy quite a while, but it appears that the whole thing will come down to Don and MJ and Lori and Bolo, who take for-freaking-ever to get out of the Ikea Detour. But when those two teams finally haul ass to the Roadblock…Lena and Kristy are still there. And then Bolo finds his clue. And then Don finds his. And…are you kidding me? Lena and Kristy? Suck. But you know what? Even though I really, really dug Lena and Kristy, I like Don and MJ and Lori and Bolo, too. I would miss any of those teams, even though not equally, and I admired Don and MJ for keeping at it when it looked like they had nothing left in the tank. It’s a very sad Philimination, but it’s a good sign, to me, because it indicates that I actually give a good goddamn about most of the teams, and would have at least a pang of sadness for almost all of them if they went home. Jonathan and Victoria are still highly objectionable, and Adam and Rebecca and Hayden and Aaron are still highly questionable. But that means I’m still taking five teams out of eight into the fourth leg whom I actively like. Who went into last year’s fourth leg? Colin and Christie, Brandon and Nicole, Linda and Karen, Charla and Mirna, Marshall and Lance, Bob and Joyce, Chip and Kim, and the Twinkies. You’re not going to find five teams in there that I actively liked. So to me, the sad ending is an improvement. Yay, show!

Who’d a thunk I’d be proud of and sad for the Utah sisters? I had plenty of pre-snark for them back before the current season opener, and now I have a fair amount of post-love. Rats for them. Darn hay. Owing to the increased visibility of the show, MSNBC reported the remarkable fact that Phil came out to the hayfield to eliminate them, because Lena had been rolling out haybales for more than 8 hours. We know this kind of thing has happened before; most recently when the Pizza Putzes were stuck on their “what’s a scarab” archeology dig Roadblock, and the uninjured Putz pulled a Cartman because his brother was in pain from tendonitis. So they refused to finish, and Phil had to come out to the course in the dark.

Putzes. Well done, ladies, you bettered their score on that one.
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