Previously on 101 Reasons To Fire Your Contestant Screeners: Kendra discovered that if you can’t put the word “good” in front of it and use it to describe the practice of not spitting when you talk, it’s really better to stay away from the word “breeding” altogether.
Gus experienced a moment of revelation right here in the middle of this here game show, leaving thousands of confused viewers who saw this listed under “reality shows” to scratch their heads, pop another mouthful of caramel corn, and say, “When do they get naked and eat the bugs?”
Lori and Bolo wanted everyone to buy their own plane tickets, and Hayden decided that the way to handle her frustration at this was to point out that Bolo is short. She immediately received the Slow Clapping Medal from the International Society of Yeah, Good One.
Victoria’s surprisingly sensible refusal to abandon the Spazpants backpacks resulted in their finishing (1) second; and (2) in possession of their passports. This turn of events activated Jonathan’s spastic and miscalibrated “YEEAAARGH!” button, and he rewarded Victoria for saving their loot by giving her a revolting shove.
Phil looked at Jonathan like he was a piece of dog poo wrapped in Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason and topped with Donald Rumsfeld’s soul, and suggested he go and make things right with his wife. Jonathan decided that what Phil really meant was “Yell at her some more.” So he did, telling her that the race wasn’t about compassion.
Interestingly, going to the grocery store isn’t about compassion, either, but the first guy who handles me (in a hostile way, I’m saying) while I’m shopping for Cheerios should anticipate a lawsuit, a visit from the police, a knee in the groin, and a public flogging. Not that I’m suggesting any of these courses of action, Victoria.
Don and MJ were so appealing that it was really sad, though kind of inevitable, when they fell behind again, finished last again, ran out of spare lives, and found themselves Philiminated.
Oh, and M. Giant wrote the shit out of the recap, because he’s the bomb, and the Minnesota Department of Economic Doohickeys asked us to make sure this show is never outsourced to some out-of-state outfit. Like Wisconsin. Boo!
So, with seven teams left, it’s time to hit the ground running again. “Who will be eliminated…next?”
Credits. In the credits of my imagination, El Hornio stubs his toe on the big, scary gym equipment, cries like a baby, and begs Rebecca to blow his nose. [BOMP.]
Awesome. There’s nothing like a heady shot of pure invective to make you appreciate the English language, so I just want to cherish this line once more:
Phil looked at Jonathan like he was a piece of dog poo wrapped in Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason and topped with Donald Rumsfeld’s soul, and suggested he go and make things right with his wife.
Oh, snarky goodness! Incidentally, Miss Alli could not quite get the hang of the Kris Kode used by M. Giant to translate the phrase “Kris is excited and happy” into a variety of more dynamic, dramatic, and interesting actions. So Kris is not quite the psychotic bi-polar international poster child for Ugly American Brattiness this week as she was last week. And as we all know, Kris is actually an extremely beautiful human being, from the inside out and the outside in. And her boyfriend Jon is no slouch, neither.
The clip show that aired last night (which is being called “Episode 6A” on TWOP, I noticed) showed most racers in a different light – there was a lot of unaired footage and even some fun tidbits that were not on the CBS TAR page.
Somehow, Jonathan is even assier than we all thought. How can this be? But Lena and Kristy, the Utah girls eliminated in the heartbreaker haybaler Roadblock, are even more gorgeouser and beautemeous than I remembered (indulge my use of family words, willya?).
So now we STILL have to wait another week to see what happens to those wacky wrasslers, who are unaccountably creeping upwards in the online popularity polls. Why, we’re not sure, but they’re loveable and there’s no accounting for online fanlove.
Speaking of TiVo, WAH!
And since this is a Clan: McTiVo post, I’ll just add that our trusty TiVo was about to give up the ghost, so David and Steve performed emergency hackery. It’s now in a state of technical undress and won’t be decent for several hours. So that’s why more bloggery and reading and DVD watching for me.
Good thing this didn’t happen last night, because even a TAR clipshow is still TAR.