My Marriage Is NOT Irrelevant

Keyes was also asked about another comment he made last week critical of gay marriage in which he declared: “Where procreation is in principle impossible, marriage is irrelevant.” Keyes said the logic of that statement would not preclude elderly people past child-bearing age from getting married.

Overshare Alert!

Well, in my case “procreation in principle is impossible,” because reproduction has been permanently circumvented. However, this doesn’t stop us from fooling around anyway. Yay!

Therefore, I’m childfree, and Alan Keyes would think I’m a monster, with an irrelevant marriage. Apparently, he would have people who are unable or unwilling to have children remain unmarried and celibate.

Here’s a cluestick for you, Mr. Keyes: My marriage is NOT irrelevant. This is not “logic and philosophy,” it is the rantings of a mentally unbalanced religious kook.

And what’s more, my marriage is NOT threatened if gay people are extended the same right to marry that benefits me and my husband.

IN fact, I happen to think that the institution of marriage is strengthened when more people are legally allowed to marry. I actually think my marriage is threatened if some people are legally prevented from marrying the person of their choice. Just my personal “logic and philosophy;” your mileage may vary.

Otherwise, if we’re going to continue to enforce some hoary old Biblical restrictions on our lives, we’ve got to enforce them ALL. Meaning, we’ve some ‘splaining to do about wearing Godless heathenish cotton-wool blends. Not to mention Lycra and stretch denim jeans (for which I personally thank God). We Christians are woefully slack (except in the matter of our too-tight jeans).

And another thing: Keyes is so not a member of the Reality-Based Community. Eric Zorn had this to say in his column in the Trib, which he titled “Full Metal Alan” and subtitled “Obtusion Confusion:”

In the post-debate news conference at WTTW, a reporter asked Keyes, “Do you think you have a chance of winning this election?”

Keyes responded: “I think I am winning this election, and I think it’s going to be proven on Nov. 2. But, as I say, this is for God to know and for the obtuse media in Illinois to find out.”

He thinks he’s going to win, and we’re obtuse?

See, in his reality he’s winning the election, because God is right and he’s a God-fearing man, and so as he’s right with God, he’s also right about winning the election. God would not let him fail. Right? Riiiiiiight.

Either that, or Republican monkeys will fly out of his butt next Tuesday, armed with provisional voters’ registrations. And they will all look like Karl Rove and Nathan Sproul, and sport natty little 3-decker capes and pillbox hats, just like they wore in the Wizard of Oz.

And golly, won’t we all be embarassed to find out that like the media, we’re obtuse, too. Shucks.