Monthly Archives: July 2004

Elton John Shortly To Be Declared “Un-American”

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Elton John has said stars are scared to speak out against war in Iraq because of “bullying tactics” used by the US government to hinder free speech.

Expect the anti-Elton backlash to commence immediately. Fortunately, as a British subject he’s relatively immune. Unfortunately, in reality this probably means that future concerts in any “red” states will shortly be cancelled.

The story doesn’t mention the recent pink slip Whoopi Goldberg received from Slim-Fast for daring to make an anti-Bush and anti-Dick joke at a recent Democratic fund-rasier.

Goldberg accepted the company’s decision but said she had criticised presidents of all persuasions. “While I can appreciate what the Slim-Fast people need to do in order to protect their business, I must also do what I need to do as an artist, as a writer and as an American, not to mention as a comic,” she told the Bloomberg news wire.

The added emphasis is mine. What she said, boldface.

If only every person in America who was NOT offended by this joke would contact the Slim-Fast company and simply tell them “Hey, I laughed. I thought it was funny.” But for some reason, the people who seem to have co-opted the word “moral” in this country ALWAYS have the power of veto.

Lifetime Achievement Awards

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Lifestyle guru Martha Stewart has been sentenced to five months in jail and five months of house arrest over charges of conspiracy and obstruction.

Excuse me, you misspelled “convicted felon Martha Stewart”. It’s the criminal version of winning an Oscar and getting to add “Academy Award(TM)winning” to your name in the billing of a new movie, if you’re an actor or actress who has been so honored by the Academy.

Hee hee – I wonder if the people she trampled in her rush to fame as America’s Lifestyle Guru are also savoring the piquant, yet satisfying mouthfeel of “convicted felon Martha Stewart”.

Repeatedly.

TAR: Recaplet Episode 2

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Miss Alli‘s recaplet is up for the second TAR episode, which includes many excellent things (both the mini-recap and the episode):

The race moves to Argentina, and things kick into high gear. Marshall and Lance blow their brilliant plan to publicize their restaurant to their enormous advantage by muttering about “useless foreigners,” Charla and Mirna learn that prostitutes are busy, and Jim and Marsha learn that you should always do your own research. After an excellent detour involving mysterious tango dancers and horny dogs, Alison and Donny make the classic mistake of taking a bus instead of a taxi, and begin to dig into a hole. An equally excellent cow-chasing roadblock and a taxi standoff lead to a tense finish in which Chip and Kim, Kami/Karli, and Alison and Donny all seem in danger of Philimination. Shockingly, karma comes through for once, and the stupidest stunt of the season comes to a merciful end as Alison and Donny are sent home, not a moment too soon. Hookers, dancing, foam, arguing…what more could you ask for?

I swear, that episode is going to be one of the two they’ll submit for next year’s Emmy nominations. It was non-stop, and thankfully the departures between midnight and 1am had teams headed for a task that was open all night, then toward some transportation that left at 430am. What a nice change from 6 to 8 hour waits (with bunching) at airports or Ferris wheels, waiting for them to open.

Still laughing at “Mine keep having sex.” Heh. Good doggies! Help Allison screw the pooch!

And I’m still so very, very happy about that outcome, but now that I’ve seen the extended video at CBS.com, I’m even happier. Philimination couldn’t have happened to a horribler team.

(If that’s not a word, it should be)

And I am now officially a little scared of Chip, because he went from Nice Guy to Loud Guy in a rather frightening display in the Cabgate dispute with the twins, after his and Kim’s driver passed the twins in a cabrace on the way to the Roadblock.

Now might be a good time to check the TAR Glossary. I’ll probably be throwing a lot of wacky terms around in the coming weeks.

Also, inside jokes from TWOP are another form of shorthand. For instance, a phrase that’s almost sure to make it into Miss Alli’s extended recap will be “blah blah blah dwarfcakes,” which some clever poster used on the TWOP discussion thread for this episode. Basically, “blah blah blah fishcakes” is a TWOP joke for any boring excuse or exposition that we’ve heard too many times on any given show, from an off-the-cuff joke that unexpectedly grew legs, thus proving the theory of evolution.

The TWOP / TAR FAQ (got that?) is here.

The general TWOP FAQ (posting guidelines, site-wide terms) is here.

Somalia: Hospital Reopens

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The Banadir hospital in Mogadishu will provide free health care for women and children. It has been mostly financed by Somali businessmen.

This is a second hospital in Mogadishu – the SOS hospital was the one that closed temporarily due to death threats against one of the doctors for performing a hysterectomy.

Mind Virii

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Yesterday, a chance comment of mine after hearing a piece on :NPR gave David a mind virus for the day; he had Ravel’s “Bolero” stuck on repeat in his head.

This morning, WXRT was doing their Friday preview for Saturday Morning Flashback with the time machine/wormhole schtick, and today the chosen year was 1984. The opening notes to Nena’s “99 Red Balloons” floated out of the car speakers, and on autopilot my hand reached out to turn the volume up.

Good times. Tried to sing along, but it was the English version and I wanted to sing the chorus in German. Now the song is stuck in my head, but at least now I can figure out which version to sing, and what the German version really means compared to the English one – they’re actually quite different.

Adam Curry’s TITS

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I’ve come late to the party, but finally started reading Adam Curry‘s weblog via Bloglines.

Today, he announces a new community watch program, after noting that the Dutch government (he lives in Holland) still does not have a terror alert system complete with colors. Our own government provides this useful service; I’m thinking about installing the Muppets one so as to feel simultaneously paranoid and soothed.

Anyway, Adam Curry’s idea was hatched on his morning radio show.

And thus the Terror Information Tracking Service was born. You send an SMS (text message from GSM ) from your cellphone to our special number, we receive that (via email) and read off some of the entries, usually folks report their cururent location is safe.

Basically, Dutch citizens send a text message to a special phone number, indicating whether or not their current location is safe and clear of terrorists or suspicious persons. A script re-directs the messages:

NORFOLK LINE SCHEUENIGEN VEILIG 7:14:34 AM

zoetermeer stadslijn + denhaag cs lijken veilig Groeten van een treinmachinist
7:13:59 AM

coffeeschop purple rain en de pax man met lange witte jurk=20en lange baard vaak gesignaleerd dus ook veilig 7:13:32 AM

ZWEMBAD SURHUISTERVEEN VEILIG 7:13:10 AM

Gouwe aquaduct veilig 7:12:44 AM

Feyenoordstadion veilig 7:12:21 AM

veronica gebouw te a dam veilig Word de hele dag in de gaten gehouden
7:11:45 AM

de koffie is veilig in wormerveer 7:11:20 AM

edah aalten free of terrorism 7:11:00 AM

adam de beeldschermen staan veilig in wamel behalve op mn schoonmoeder na die is altyd op oorlogpad 7:10:26 AM

stel dat osama een sms stuurd dat het veilig is Wat dan7:09:59 AM

shoarma bar jaffa niet veilig! Knoflook saus word met liefde bereid! 7:09:47 AM

VERDACHTE DOOS LANGS MIJ IN BED MAAKT OOK ANGSTIGE GELUIDEN= JACK EINDHOVEN NOORD 7:09:34 AM

photographed undercover suspicious suspect yonder can t understand need terrorists Quit underestimating info from fuckers! Good morning Adam Don
7:09:14 AM

Mijn wc is na kordaat ingrijpen met wc-eend weer veilig verklaard
7:08:54 AM

route lijn 1 in rotterdam is veilig tram bestuurder Walter= is aanwezig
7:08:36 AM

As you can see, for the most part the Dutch infrastructure, including the Philips semiconductor plant, several ferries, somebody’s toilet, a tram line, a train station, and an Internet cafe famous for selling marijuana are quite safe. Scattered sightings of Osama notwithstanding, Holland is a safe little country, but everyone is keeping a sharp lookout for things that are not safe (or possibly, not Dutch).

If this community watch continues, it could spread world-wide. Unfortunately, so far only Dutch radio listeners know the special phone number.

It would be amusing to call it and report that all is well here in Burbclavia.

Seymour Hersh – Finally Breaking?

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Maybe it’s breaking at last: Boing Boing reports via various blog links that Seymour Hersh is going somewhat more public with the assertion that children were raped at Abu Ghraib, and that the Pentagon has the videos.

There’s a lot of discussion out there on the Net – see the comments sections of the blogs linked by BoingBoing.

I would still like to know whatever happened to the story of the Titan contractor that was accused of raping a teenage boy that was reported on back in May on :NPR’s Marketplace.

Need To Read

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I was listening to AAR – Majority Report just now for the first time in a while, and happened on an interesting discussion with George Lakoff, author of Moral Politics : How Liberals and Conservatives Think.

It’s very interesting. He proposes that political views can be categorized by two family archetypes, the Strict Father and the Nurturing Parent. As he spoke listing the attributes and belief systems of each model, it made our current political system of dysfunctional polarism sound more and more like Family Feud.

There’s a lot more about how to take back control of the national debate over those issues where the moral argument trumps all others, and puts opposing views on those issues on the defensive. Need to read it.