Elton John has said stars are scared to speak out against war in Iraq because of “bullying tactics” used by the US government to hinder free speech. Expect the anti-Elton backlash to commence immediately. Fortunately, as a British subject he’s relatively immune. Unfortunately, in reality this probably means that future concerts in any “red” states will shortly be cancelled. The story doesn’t mention the recent pink slip Whoopi Goldberg received from Slim-Fast for daring to make an anti-Bush and anti-Dick joke at a recent Democratic fund-rasier. Goldberg accepted the company’s decision but said she had criticised presidents of all persuasions.…

Lifestyle guru Martha Stewart has been sentenced to five months in jail and five months of house arrest over charges of conspiracy and obstruction. Excuse me, you misspelled “convicted felon Martha Stewart”. It’s the criminal version of winning an Oscar and getting to add “Academy Award(TM)winning” to your name in the billing of a new movie, if you’re an actor or actress who has been so honored by the Academy. Hee hee – I wonder if the people she trampled in her rush to fame as America’s Lifestyle Guru are also savoring the piquant, yet satisfying mouthfeel of “convicted felon…