Just checking the schedule at our local channel, because TAR is on tonight!

I am so stupid about this show. Yes, it’s like an addiction. I’m also addicted to reading Miss Alli’s recaps afterwards, because that’s how I actually got addicted in the first place. How can you not laugh at this:

They start by suiting up in white coats, and Alison and Donny are the first to get their beef out of the way. Bob takes the side of beef and immediately predicts that he will never make it a half-mile. Mirna takes the beef for her team (ew), and although Charla insists she’ll help, Mirna moans, “I’m gonna cry with this beef!” She is just weird. She’s like an old lady in a cheerleader’s body or something. You know how you can tell? Everything Mirna says sounds just right if you put the word “Phyllis” on the end of it. “I’m gonna cry with this beef, Phyllis.” “We’re lucky we didn’t get trampled, Phyllis.” See? Old lady. Anyway, Linda takes the beef for her team.

Heh – Mirna is actually an old lady in young woman drag. I love that. She even walks around favoring her back and moaning. Can’t make this stuff up. Yes, she’s annoying, but entertainingly so. I feel affection for her, and when she and Charla are on the screen, it’s never boring. I’m sure their “Oh please God help me, I’ll get mad cow disease, Phyllis” schtick will get very old, especially after viewing their “extras” clip at the TAR site on CBS. But they’re funny to watch.

I loved how the guys in the street offer gourds of mate’, the South American herbal tea that is ubiquitous, to beefpackin’ teams as they go by. I’m told that the mate’ was offered more in mockery or good-natured teasing than in a spirit of friendly helpfulness. I found out about the etiquette of drinking mate’ when I was learning Spanish from a teacher that had spent time in Argentina, it tickles me how these obscure regional details turn up on this show.

Finally, a golden quote I missed in first reading:

What I really wish is that they had gotten separated, and that Mirna had had to walk up to a bunch of people who don’t speak English, trying to figure out how to ask them if they’ve seen a dwarf in a plastic hat running with a dead cow on her back.

That was in just one part of the premiere. God knows what wackiness will ensue tonight, but I do know that it involves a meltdown and a good, old-fashioned cabfight.