Monthly Archives: June 2004

The Comedy Stylings of the White House Press Corps

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Fresh from their latest gig at the White House Press Briefing hosted by Scott McClellan, it’s the new comedy troupe “Not The Stenographers!”

Actually, I saw them described as “stenos” on another website the other day in connection with the “Irish journalist asks Bush harrrrrd questions” story.

From reading between the lines, and totally in my humble and uninformed opinion, it seems like some of the people asking tough questions know perfectly well that the answers won’t be all that newsworthy. Either that, or their editors will veto them rather than make the White House press secretary look like a helplessly flailing ventriloquist’s dummy.

You will see the obligatory “…when terrorists attacked on September 11, 2001” fallback trotted out when once again the Mouth of Bushon is put on the spot about Iraq and Saddam Hussein. Yeah, those two issues that have been shown to have no substantive or factual connection.

Musical Bookends

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Something I often do, but haven’t mentioned before: I sing in the car. Yes, I’m one of those annoying people you see in traffic, sitting at a light that’s just turned green trying to hit the note AND remember the words AND get it in gear AND get their ass moving. That’s me. It’s how I gird up on my way to work, or de-gird on the way home.

I often think that good songs at the beginning and end of my day act like bookends. I usually listen to WBEZ for news, but WXRT for music. In fact, you can listen to X-R-T online, but I have to say: their online music channel on Radio@AOL/Radio@Netscape totally SUCKS. They play these snippets of not-real songs for commercials that can’t go out over the air nationally. Also, I think they snippet out on-air announcements and concert listings. They always use the same ones, 30 seconds at a time. And there usually seem to be 8 or 10 different snippets together at a time.

So although WXRT is a great radio station, I can’t recommend their online channel unless you’re really desperate.

Oh, God. During the course of typing up this post, I waited through 10 snipppets to hear just TWO songs, and the snippets have started again. Maybe this is too frustrating.

Musical Bookends for the day:

  • True Love Is Hard To Find by Toots and the Maytals, with Bonnie Raitt on backup
  • Racing Off To Nowhere, by Peter Himmelman

Painters of Blight!

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kinkadeblight.jpgI love this: BoingBoing reports that a Seattle art gallery will feature “tributes” of two well known contemporary “artists” – Thomas Kinkad and Jack T. Chick.

BB is calling it the “Painters of Blight” show…

As you probably know, Thomas Kinkade, the famous “Painter of Light,” has made millions of dollars with his customized prints of day-glo cottages against backdrops of enchanted forests. He has a team of “Kinkade-trained Master Highlighters” who go over reproductions of his work with oil paint.

Yes! His work is mass-produced crap! He’s the Norman Rockwell of heartwarming, uplifting, mind-blinkered post- 9/11 Americana! He’s also one of those annoying people that’s constantly dropping God’s name into every sentence! Excellent target, dear artists. Drop the big one now!

chickblight.jpgNow, on to their next target, Jack T. Chick – this one is dear to my heart, also:

And Jack T. Chick is the famous artist-publisher of a series of incendiary 3″ x 5″, 24-page religious comic book tracts. Loaded with scare tactics and jabs at “enemies” of Christianity, Chick’s comics vividly depict the horrors of Hell for anyone who neglects to convert to Christianity. Since 1961 Chick has created 175 proselytizing tracts, which have had more than 500,000,000 copies published in over 100 languages worldwide.

Faboo! Though I have one minor correction: that’s “500,000,000 discarded, unwanted, unread and culturally offensive copies clogging landfills in over 100 linguistic areas worldwide.”

Irish Journalist: Tough Interview W/Bush

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Here’s a link to Carole Coleman’s Bush interview with George Bush before his arrival in Ireland for the summit. She asked a lot of tough questions and pointed followup questions – Bush appeared to be somewhat irritated that the followup questions came faster than he could parrot the usual rote answers back to her.

There’s also an official White House transcript here, most likely somewhat cleaned up. Bush didn’t come off so badly, so long as they were discussing things dear to his heart, like his beloved and still illusory weapons of mass destruction. He lit up with pleasure when describing his favorite bedtime story, “How 9/11 And Saddam Hussein Are Connected And The World Is A Better Place Now That He’s Out Of Office.”

However, he asks several times for Carole to let him finish answering. It takes time to recite from memory when you can’t improvise or edit as you go.

Harry Potter VI Title Puzzling

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The title of the upcoming sixth Harry Potter book will be Harry Potter ********************, author J.K. Rowling’s official Web site revealed. Fans had to solve a series of puzzles to open a door on the site, revealing the title.

Okay, if you want to try to solve the puzzle unspoiled, go here. If you just want to know the damn title already, go to the Sci Fi article cited above.

I (heart) Miss Alli, Recapper Royale

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The following is why I (heart) TWOP and Miss Alli Stuff from the Mod: READ ME, PLEASE” href=”http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=3111702&st=105&#entry1603112″>TWoP Forums -> The Racer and Racer Accessory Posting Manifesto.

It’s entirely likely that we DO have a TWOP ringer on the fifth installment of The Amazing Race (which will be known henceforth as TAR5), so I “get” why Miss Alli is putting the heads up where Racers and their Accessories might see it just now.

TWOP is a place where past Racers hang out with fans, if they happen to have thick enough skins to overcome the natural tendency to get defensive when viewers snark up their backsides, over the top, and all the way down to their chitlins. Current Racers can’t say anything in public until they’re either eliminated or they finish the Race (in whatever order), so have to suffer the pangs and arrows of outrageously funny snark until the muzzle comes off.

It’s always fun when a popular team shows up after they’ve been eliminated; it’s also fun if an UNpopular team shows up, IF things go well… ie., so long as they don’t charge in self-righteously defending themselves and attacking everyone that snickered about their nose (Alison, in the coming season) or funny waddling run (hello, loveable Clowns!).

All of which is one reason why Miss Alli reposted the Manifesto. It’s also probably a reminder to everyone else to snark on the contestant, but not on the poster… and not to suck up and apologize for everyone else’s snark once the Racers show up in their discussion threads. Snarks is snarks. To apologize for it is to diminish its snarkly beauty. After a few posts, everybody relaxes and has fun asking the newly eliminated questions about behind the scenes stuff, and to clear up points on the timeline that a few dedicated people try to put together from on-screen clues.

In fact, some teams formerly known as having “the luck of the evil” (I’m looking at you, Guidos) can turn into “beloved chaotic-good fan-favorites of yore” simply by being charming and good-natured at fan-run parties and charity events. It’s this last feature that apparently makes attending a TARCon (a TWOP sponsored fan party in New York for the Finale) fascinating, because you get to watch Racers approach Miss Alli and try to break the ice, and then go and work the crowd. One racer from the first season was universally reviled until he came up to Miss Alli at the party and hugged her. Aw! His redemption arc occured after his season ended.

The Amazing Race is the best reality show on TV, and Miss Alli is its recapper.

I had a moment where I and a few others tonight thought that CBS was going to be re-running TAR1 (that’s the first season, y’all) on Saturdays, but actually the generic description defaults to first season, first episode if the full title of the current season isn’t used on TiVo and other online television scheduling services.

This moment was fun while it lasted, followed by crushing disappointment, followed by the realization that the premiere is just over a week away.

As the current TV ad says: “It’s an emotional roller-coaster.”

I should find those earplugs we had on a recent plane trip for David – he’ll need them.

Lousy Mouse: WWWD?

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From a press release quoted by Salon:

MOVE OVER MICHAEL MOORE…
Disney & Move America Forward
Team Up to Show a Brighter Side of America

(SACRAMENTO) — Move America Forward is teaming up with Walt Disney Pictures to present an exclusive screening of Disney’s “America’s Heart & Soul” on Monday, June 28, 2004 at the Crest Theater in Sacramento, California. The private screening takes place at 1:00 PM and members of the news media are invited to attend. “Americas Heart & Soul” opens in theaters nationwide on Friday, July 2nd.

Unlike the negative and misleading storyline of Michael Moore’s “Fahrenheit 9/11,” Disney’s “America’s Heart & Soul” features a collection of upbeat storylines of real life Americans who pursue their passions in a way that underscores what makes America a great nation.

WHAT: Screening of Walt Disney Pictures’ “America’s Heart & Soul”
WHO: Representatives of Walt Disney Pictures
Howard Kaloogian, Chairman, Move America Forward
Melanie Morgan, Vice Chairman, Move America Forward
[Melanie is also a talk show host on KSFO 560 AM San Francisco]
Eric Hogue, KTKZ 1380 AM Sacramento
Mickey Mouse & Donald Duck
Political Leaders
Business Leaders
Invited members of the community

On its Web site, Move America Forward complains that: “Those who oppose the War on Terror have the mouthpiece of the mainstream media to disseminate their propaganda to the entire nation in an almost unchallenged effort. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week it is bash America, bash the military and bash the Bush administration.”

You know, all of a sudden I just got this chill. In the place of “media propaganda” we’ve got “mouse propaganda.”

I don’t think I want to go back to Disney World or Disneyland anytime soon. This use of beloved icons, from a company whose image has always been so carefully cultivated as being from a magical world of imagination itself is far too disturbing – now they’ve got Mickey and Donald shilling for the “dissenters are traitors” worldview of the “move America forard” spin machine.

Imagine if they started putting their upbeat stories of real-life Americans, suitably RE-imagined and RE-packaged, into the product that they pump into millions of homes and millions of minds. Of course, the shiny, happy stories are not that different from the ones they’ve always told, but they’re just a bit shinier and happier, and there are more pretty flags waving.

Can you imagine what the Disney imagineers could do with a little magic, a pinch of fairy dust, and just the teensiest bit of thought control? As much as I love the happy memories associated with watching “Wonderful World of Disney” as a kid, I can.

It’d make a hell of a scary movie. One that Walt would never have made. In fact, what would Walt do if he were still alive? Probably, he never would have hooked up with Michael Moore in the first place. Which makes me wonder; what the hell were the folks at Disney thinking when they made the initial deal with Moore in the first place? Did they not know that he’s the giant-killer of Big Corporate America, and Big Political America?

Political Potluck: Churches Benefit

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SPRINGFIELD, Ill. – People can keep sharing their fried chicken and green bean casserole if Illinois lawmakers get their way. The Illinois Senate voted 51-1 Monday in favor of loosening health regulations for traditional potluck dinners. The measure passed the House earlier, so now it goes to the governor.

Hey, this one actually benefits Holy Moly, how ’bout that? We’ve had to change plans for potluck fundraisers a couple of times because we were reminded that we could not advertise them in the suburban paper, thus making them “public events” and subject to health department rules.

So hey! Politicking isn’t so bad for once. Now we can call a fundraiser a fundraiser.

Any Minute Now…

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… Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor will be branded an “activist judge” by a right-wing flack for saying this:

Justice O’Connor wrote that the campaign against terrorism notwithstanding, “a state of war is not a blank check for the president when it comes to the rights of the nation’s citizens.”

Halliburton-KBR Slushy Scandal A La Francais

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More on the Nigerian bribery/Halliburton scandal.

Oh, and of course the story was buried on the back pages on the last day of the Reagan obequiousies.

The energy conglomerate formerly headed by Dick Cheney disclosed the SEC probe (as it was required to do by law for any legal action potentially affecting the company’s stock) on June 11. The timing of the disclosure was no accident–it was a Friday, the last day of the interminable Reagan funeral ceremonies, and Wall Street was thus closed. The national press corps focused on little else but the burial, so the SEC investigation got scant attention in the weekend papers (even the New York Times ran only a brief AP dispatch on its website).