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Metromix.com: Movie review: ‘The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King’

Last night the dream of a lifetime’s reading came true; the full Lord of the Rings trilogy was gloriously realized on film, and I saw it at last.

When the project was first announced years ago, I thought “Right, we’ll see, there’ve been disappointing blunders before.” I had suffered through Ralph Bakshi’s uneven (and partly rotoscoped) version, and I think there was a Rankin-Bass attempt to tell the third installment when Bakshi only got through the first two books.

So again, when the project was announced, I thought “Hmmm, well, good luck to this Jackson guy.”

My interest (and invisible hobbit-ears) perked up when I heard that they built and planted the Hobbiton set a year before they filmed there so it would look authentic and lived in. “Hmm,” I thought, “might be something in this Jackson frood’s approach. ”

Then, as each part was cast and announced, I’d have my reaction and think “Might not suck” or “Oh, cool, Ian McKellen” except for when they announced Elijah Wood and Sean Astin. Oh, the foul language and curses! Such indignant my language lack! My Gosh! Heck! Darn! How could they cast such lightweights??

Boy, was I WRONG?!? I’m so glad I was wrong. Sorry, boys. Looking for new gigs? Like politics much? Just think about it.

OK, they convinced me – now I am so happy for them and proud that they made it through to triumph in the end, on screen and off.

I had bought Tolkien calendars in the 70’s and gnashed my teeth at the horrible crimes committed by the Brothers Hildebrandt. Sorry, BH fans, I just never liked the bright cartoony colors and… the feet and the coarse facial features on everybody not a slivery-thin Elf.

So I stopped buying them, but noticed later that there were a couple of Tolkien artists whose work resonated for me – John Howe and Alan Lee. There were a few others, but as it happens director Peter Jackson ended up having Mssrs. Howe and Lee on the production team for Lord of the Rings.

So for me the movies “looked right” and in spite of the changes Jackson made in order to bring it to the screen; they “felt right” to this diehard Tolkien fan, and they certainly “sounded right,” the one dimension I never really imagined. But I knew it when I heard it – THAT is what Nazgul sound like, THAT is what Elven music heard from afar sounds like.

Last night I very nearly hyperventilated when Eowyn faced down the Nazgul – that was always one of my favorite bits in the book – and my “teary eyed moments” were much more numerous than the 3 that Jackson reportedly was going for with fans.

I was one very happy and satisfied fan when the credits rolled (with one niggling exception). My husband, who has never been able to get through the books, has now become a Tolkien fan via the movies, and for his sake I’m grateful that Mr. Jackson and his Fellowship did such an outstanding job.

And now for the niggling exception – although there were changes and omissions on screen where some parts of the story were passed over in order to more fully flesh out others, my problem was with the people in whose company I saw the movie.

Not random strangers. Not annoying teens kicking the seat back and using laser pointers. It was with the party of mature adults with whom we had just had dinner in anticipation of seeing a great movie. They are acquaintances of a good friend, and the next time he calls to get us rounded up to see a movie with them, we’ll decline with extreme prejudice.

They talked incessantly during the movie. INCESSANTLY! I don’t mind the occasional gasp or laugh, or even spontaneous cheers and applause when the action on-screen calls for it (Legolas! Surf that Mumakil to the ground, baby! Woohoo!).

But people who whisper constantly AND inaccurately (“Oh, they still have the Scouring of the Shire to get through yet!!) and who ignore repeated “shushes” MUST be quelled. It was a large party – about 12 or 14 of us – and nearly ALL of them were chattering away as if they were in their own living rooms watching a frickin’ RERUN on cable.

I have been to movies with some of these people before, and I had the same objections then. Hubby and I were reluctant to go through another frustrating experience with them, but the dinner was a special holiday event and eventually we decided “Oh, maybe we just sat next to the wrong person before.”

Nope. They all do it. They won’t shut up. They can’t shut up. It’s the way they’re hardwired. No more movies with them. Ever.

We’ll see the movie again at an IMAX showing, and God help the annoying teen that sits behind us.

And one final, positive word: that was SO cool at the end. With the Ring. So cool.

I think Tolkien might have liked that bit. Well done.